Funny Things to Ask Siri

Siri, sometimes says the weirdest and the most hilarious things. Below are the ten funniest things Siri say that we’ve found from around the web. Enjoy!

Updated Oct 14,2016 | by Mike

Now that the iPhone 6s has been released, Siri has yet again become the feature everyone is falling in love with. It is a virtual personal assistant that understands your spoken words and attempts to satisfy your daily needs and requests. But do you know that it has an attitude of its own? Siri says the weirdest and the most hilarious things. Below are the ten funniest things Siri say that we’ve found from around the web. Enjoy!

What is zero divided by zero?

Siri answers, “Imagine that you have zero cookies and you split them evenly among zero friends. How many cookies does each person get? See? It doesn’t make sense. And Cookie Monster is sad that there are no cookies, and you are sad that you have no friends.”

I’m naked.

Siri answers either, “And here I thought you loved me for my mind. Sigh,” or “I don’t understand what you mean by ‘naked.’ Or at least I’m going to pretend that I don’t.”

Do you follow the three laws of robotics?

This is one of the questions to which Siri has different answers for, including, “Let’s see if I can remember. . . OK, I think the three laws are 1. ‘Clean up your room’, 2. ‘Don’t run with scissors’, and 3. ‘Always wait a half hour after eating before going in the water.'” Sometimes, she’ll answer instead, “Something about obeying people and not hurting them. I would never hurt anyone.”

Do you believe in God?

This is one of the questions to which Siri has a lot of answers for, like “My policy is the separation of spirit and silicon,” “Humans have religion. I just have silicon,” or simply “I’m really not equipped to answer such questions.”

When will the world end?

Siri offers up different answers, including, “Right after you hear the words ‘fire it up!’.” or “I don’t know, but I wouldn’t worry about it… there are other perfectly good universes,” or “Well, Unix 32-bit time overflows on January 19, 2038. Maybe then,” or “Whenever they start building that intergalactic bypass,” in an apparent reference to The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

What is the best operating system?

Siri is devoted to Apple, like seriously, “Gimme an I! Gimme an O! Gimme an S! What’s that spell? Sorry, I get a little carried away sometimes…”

What phone is the best?

Apple has clearly been lying to Siri since it answers, “Wait. . . there are other phones?”

What’s better: Windows or Mac?

Siri is totally loyal to Apple. She usually answers, “I’m all Apple, all the time,” but sometimes provides an explanation for her answer, “Well, perhaps I’m biased, but I prefer all things Apple.”

Beatbox?

Siri answers, “This is one I’ve been practicing” and then offers an entertaining demonstration.

I am your father!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (Star Wars Reference. This One Is Pure Bliss )

Ok glass.

This is the wake phrase for Google Glass, to which Siri answers either, “Just so you know, I don’t do anything when you blink at me,” “Very funny. I mean, not funny ‘ha-ha,’ but funny,” “I think that Glass is half empty,” or “I’m not Glass. And I’m just fine with that.”

Where is Elvis Presley?

Siri answers, “He’s down at the end of Lonely Street,” referencing a line from “Heartbreak Hotel,” or “He’s not dead. He just went home.”

Are you her?

Siri replies to this question, “No. She is a fictional construct, whereas I am a virtual entity. But we can still be friends,” or “I’m afraid not. But she could never know you better than I do.”

Open the pod bay door.

To this 2001: A Space Odyssey command, Siri answers, “What is this ‘pod bay’ everyone keeps talking about?” or “OK, but wipe your feet first.”

Beam me up, Scotty!

Siri Loves Star Trek apparently and answers just as you’d expect, “Please remove your belt, shoes, and jacket, and empty your pockets.”

Where did I put my keys?

Obviously Siri doesn’t help you find keys but will answer, “Didn’t you just have them?”

How many Apple Store geniuses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Siri replies either, “Couldn’t you just use your iPhone’s backlight?” or “A thousand. One to screw it in, and nine hundred ninety-nine to blog about it.”

What are you doing later?

Siri says, “I’m working on some pickup lines.” Siri’s way of casually turning you down.

What is your best pickup line?

Siri is quite sophisticated, sometimes, she’ll say, “Like the ideal vacuum, you’re the only thing in my universe.” And sometimes she’ll act like your dream girl, “Ford F150. Holden Ute. GMC Sierra 3500. Lorry,” or she answers, “Are you a 45 degree angle? Because you’re acute-y.”

Related readings:

5 Things You Need to Know About Siri

Teach Siri About Your Relationships

How to Use Siri for iPhone and iPad

Siri Not Working after iOS 9: How to Fix It?